Last night I met a professional columnist. He started reading some of his questions and responses. He said one of the questions he gets most often is “How soon should I try anal sex with someone I am dating.” I could only shake my head at his response…
Let me provide some insight on one of my favorite topics. This is NOT an activity you spring on someone, trust me it is the quickest way to NEVER EVER gain access to that hole again and most likely will end a relationship if attempted too quickly with someone who is inexperienced.
Anal sex is something that needs preparation, time, knowledge. Yes, you can start with a finger once someone is aroused, but if you really want the experience to be pleasurable for your partner you need to go slow, think really really slow and then go slower. Use lube (and spit is NOT lube!) if you are not comfortable going into a sex store or ordering adult products online, you are not ready for anal sex.
Talk to your partner, don’t just think you can “slip it in.” Fuck no! Talk to them, start by teasing the outside of their asshole with your finger, see how they respond, talk about toys. Once they are comfortable, get a small butt plug and lube it up and slowly insert, pay attention to their response. It may feel a little uncomfortable when you start, but if it is causing pain you are going too fast or doing something wrong. Get them used to the sensation of having a foreign object inserted and removed. Have them wear it for longer periods of time so they can become used to it. One of my favorites is the NJoy Stainless Plug. It quickly adapts to body temperature, it doesn’t take a huge amount of lube and stays lubricated for long periods of time. It has a little handle for easy insertion and removal and can be worn for longer periods of time and no it is not uncomfortable to have in or sit on, the handle just reminds you it is there. It is a little more expensive, but well worth the investment if this is something you are interested in pursuing. Using the NJoy I was able to train to have anal orgasms and trust me, when you start having those kinds of sensations it will make your partner much more open to having a cock, dildo, strap-on/dildo in their ass.
Your partner must be relaxed and trust you. If they are concerned about the hygiene of the activity, then an enema will help. That’s a whole other topic, but not that complicated. Keep in mind that what happens in porn is with people who have had a lot of experience regardless of them saying it’s their “first time”… If you are afraid of a little poo on your cock, you shouldn’t be putting it in someone’s ass. As always, safe sex is always advisable.
Anal sex can be amazing with the right person. There are so many nerves and the sensations can be incredible. Just take your time and practice. If you can get in their head, most likely you can get in their ass.